pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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