Jerry, you need to find god
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
