Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
