he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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