i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
