Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize