I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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