He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
