Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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