I've blown a few things in my day
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
