Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
