I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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