could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Is it penis luge time yet?
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
