I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
