Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
