i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Randomize
