i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
