My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Randomize