Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
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