Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
