i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
