Already got asked if we're dating
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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