She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Edward fifth and chaser hands
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
