I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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