My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
