she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
