you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Randomize
