what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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