oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Randomize
