I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
