ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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