walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
