I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
i will never coherently bang her
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
