im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
