Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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