My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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