the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
