Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
