Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
