in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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