she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize