I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
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