You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Randomize
