i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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