Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
