Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize