curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
