doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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