whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Randomize
