Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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