More tranny stories later!
Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
