I'm really into asian looking animals
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
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