Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
It's rum buckets o'clock
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
