well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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