Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
