areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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