So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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