the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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