i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
