His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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