I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
