I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Randomize
