You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
