matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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