I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
