And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
i think i just lost a toe
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
