I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Please don't give away my fajitas
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