I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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