We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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