Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
