i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Randomize
