Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
