He is such a slut. More and more my type.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Randomize
