I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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