she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
