super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
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