The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Blood and glitter go together right?
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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