If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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