i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
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