this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I will pee on everything he values.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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