There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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