All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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