Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize