They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
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