I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Randomize
