But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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