i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
