Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Princesses don't give blow jobs
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
