areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
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