i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Randomize
