They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
