i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
