trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
