I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
