I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
